Musings on Spiritual Growth

This summer we took in a puppy that was abandon by its owners.  It was left in a box to die.  A friend of ours found it on the side of the road half dead.

For the first few weeks we fed it from a bottle with goat milk and yogurt.  As I was feeding this puppy from a bottle and as the puppy grew, I wondered on my own spiritual growth.    Moving from the milk to the spiritual meat in God's word.

After a few days I had to start giving our puppy real food - meat - dry dog food soften with the milk and  as she started to gobble this up I ended up taking away the bottle milk.  At first she didn't want to change from the bottle, I had to spoon feed her the real food to show her how it would satisfy her so much more than the milk.  She grew and began to eat her food quicky and soon she didn't need the milk at all.  

What is the difference between spiritual milk and spiritual meat?  Why do we need the meat, why do we need to grow up?  What happens if all we consume of God's word is milk? What does this say about us spiritually if we don't move beyond milk?

 If we stay on an all milk diet we may grow but we won't have any muscle.  God's word is like that - the more we consume of it the more it changes and strengthens us. 

What does spiritual growth look like?  What does the Bible say about growth?  What does this mean for me?

I don't have all the answers - these are things I am still learning and growing in myself.  I have not had all the meat there is from the word. 

For our puppy - it meant that once she was laying at deaths door - but the milk revived her and caused her to grow stronger.  The meat then caused her to develop and mature.  She ended up growing far larger than we ever realized she would.

We don't have the puppy anymore - she has been moved to grow further in a country village.  But while she was with us she taught us that true growth comes from the meat in life not the milk.  That true growth isn't easy and sometimes requires hard decisions like giving away a beloved puppy so that human relationships can thrive and improve.  

What about you?  Are you satisfied with the milk or do you want more meat?

The day we said Goodbye.  We do miss her!

Welcoming Fall!

I planned this post a month ago - I should change it to anticipating winter.  Fall here in Moldova is very nice.  The grapes came into season and for the first time I realized where the fake candy grape flavor comes from.  The deep purple grapes actual taste just like that.  The seeds aside, the taste was fabulous!  I can't even explain it but just go out and eat a grape Lifesaver and imagine it being the flavor of a real grape!

The leaves are changing and falling covering the walkways and creating a nature carpet.  Moldovan Churches have all held their Fall Festivals thanking God for the provision that as been laid up for winter.

The Ukrainian Grandmother next door is canning the harvest from her huge garden.  One day her grape vines were heavy with fruit the next day they were picked clean.  She is stealthy like that working in the in between while I am busy with other things. 

We started homeschooling for the year on Sept. 6 and are currently enjoying the middle ages.

God has been teaching me in his word with Philippians that in all things He has a plan to work out for my good.  In that as life still presents its problems I am working out rejoicing always.

Soon we will have lived in Moldova a year.  I've hesitated to write much about my impressions this first year as we adjusted and learned the language.  Growing in our understanding of the country and culture.  I think I am ready to share more about life and ministry here in Moldova in future posts.

The Lord is My Shepherd - His Spirit is water to my Soul!

I wish I was perfect - wouldn't that be awesome to be perfect.  

To never say or do the wrong thing.  

To just wake up every morning and know that your every response to someone would be just the right one.  

The perfect words to every situation would fly out of your mouth without thought.   

Every action, deed and thought would be beyond question and reproach. 

I am not perfect!  

I'm struggling now. 

- Struggling with everything it feels like a big weight of nothingness has settled over me and well spiritually I know that this isn't from God.  I'm so not right within myself that I wonder what am I doing?  

What does God's word say about this?  

I've not been in the word lately!  I've been avoiding it actually - what does that say about me?  I have been praying but most of my prayers are about God helping me through a situation.  Or helping me figure out what to say and how to say it.  What to do.  Asking God to forgive me for my not so nice thoughts and feelings as of late.  

I think that most of this just means I'm normal.  

A Christian, not in the word, under stress and full of emotional responses as my first line of defense.  Seriously, I've cried all I can today.  

While I haven't been in the word lately,  I had been studying the 23rd Psalm.  

Studying it along with  a book written by W. Phillip Keller.  

I'm such a sheep!

The Shepherd Trilogy: A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm / A Shepherd Looks at the Good Shepherd / A Shepherd Looks at the Lamb of God

I'm glad that I was studying this before this time in the valley because I can see how much of a sheep I am!  During this time without water, when my enemies seem to be other sheep kicking me.  Why do we sheep do that to each other?  Why do I do that to other sheep?  

I am a sheep in need of rest,  I am a sheep in need of a good Shepherd.  

In need of a Shepherd that during this dry time is waiting for me to meet Him up in the meadow.  Better yet is waiting for me to allow Him to safely lead me to this quiet place of rest. 

The song Better is One Day -  is going through my mind.  The part that talks about 

Your Spirit is Water to My Soul!

There it is the water that I need that everyone needs.  Good thing I don't need to be perfect or I'd be doomed - well damned really. 

Let this be Water to your Soul too!

This is true for me - is it true for you?  Is one Day with God better than 1,000 somewhere else?

Water to your soul?

Oh things are not suddenly perfect now.

I'm still not perfect, 

right now I still feel down and my spirit is still heavy the valley is still a bit dark. 

But there is that meadow over there and I'm going to head to it because 

He is a good Shepherd.  

And well He is perfect. 

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my dshepherd; I shall not ewant.

2 He makes me lie down in green fpastures.

He leads me beside still waters.1

3 He grestores my soul.

He hleads me in ipaths of righteousness2

for his jname's sake.

4 Even though I kwalk through the valley of lthe shadow of death,3

I will mfear no evil,

for nyou are with me;

your orod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5 You pprepare a table before me

in qthe presence of my enemies;

you ranoint my head with oil;

my scup overflows.

6 Surely4 goodness and mercy5 shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall tdwell6 in the house of the Lord

u forever.  (ESV)

Water from the Well

One of the outreaches this summer was the trekking outreach.  One day our guide had a friend he wanted our team to meet at a well.  This friend I’ll call him Peter and he always have lots of good conversations about the Lord and the end times.  He wanted us to meet Peter and to talk with the other man that was with them.  The meeting was at a covered well with a picnic table on the edge of a field in Southern Moldova.

Reflecting back I find it interesting that the entire conversation took place at a well.  Jesus met the women at the well and he knew her sin.  She realized that He was the Christ.  She then told everyone who she had met and many people through this sinner came to know Jesus.  

At this well the first gentlemen - I’ll call him Bob.  He wanted to bring up all these issues concerning conflicts with other nations, between nations and wars.  Since I am an American he brought up 9 11.  We tried to steer the conversation to himself and his own relationship with God, but he didn’t want to go there.  

During this conversation with Bob - a drunk man from the field came to see what was going on - he may have heard us singing.  I’ll call him Dan.  He wondered in disrupting the already confusing conversation and added more confusion.  Then he wondered off.  Then he came back and sat down.  He smelled strongly of alcohol.  

I told Bob that I could sense his heart was for peace and that his concern was for people.  That the word of God says that all nations will bow and know that He is God.  God will judge the nations.   That in the end we all go in front of God alone.  That we were there because we were concerned about him.  

Then 1 Peter 1 - 2:2 was read.  The entire tone relaxed after this, the confusion seem to dissipate.  It was very interesting the calming effect the scripture had. 

The gospel was clearly shared.  Dan the drunk man heard some of this but it was like he was fighting himself.  Did he stay and listen or did he run off.  You could see on his face sadness and heartache. 

I felt a strong impression to share with him about my own brother and how he died of a drug overdose.  About how he had told me that he wanted to stop the addictions but that ultimately it killed him.   I was just about to start when suddenly Dan got up stood looking off into the distant field and said.  “My brother died right over there...”  He started to cry. 

Wow - I knew then for sure that I was to share this.  

Through sharing this connection of loosing our brothers, we were able to get at the root of his addiction.  When he stopped drinking the pain of his brother’s death would overwhelm him and he would start drinking to numb the pain.  I told him he needed to let the grief come he needed to cry for his brother.  That the drinking was ruining his life and would cause his death.  There was more said and shared with him.  By the time we left there was hope on his face.  

It was suggested that a Bible study be started with our guide and these men.  Pray that they do get together for fellowship and to discuss God’s word. 

Pray for both Bob and Dan that they allow God to change their hearts.

Pray for the men of Moldova - it is so hard to be a provider here.  God made men to need respect, to have a desire to provide for their families and when you can not provide because there is no work...  When alcohol is cheaper than water and sold in large quantities a country ends up with a whole host of family and social problems. 

Moldovan men need purpose and hope.  

When Jesus met the women at the well - He told her that he could give her living water.  Living water the one that makes us not thirst again.  

The water from this well is only found in Christ.  

LETTING GO

There is an American Resource Center here in Moldova where anyone can go and sign up to check out books and movies that are American.  Meaning the movies are all in English and most of the non-fiction movies are Historically about the US.  There are computers that can be used and you can print out 20 pages a day if they are related to topics concerning the USA.  I for some reason find that funny.

The kids are happy because they have a lot of kids movies and I am happy because they have grown-up movies and TV shows as well.  I checked out House, M.D.: Season Six.   House interests me because he is so anti God and yet he himself has a bit of a God complex.  He is completely irreverent and sometimes I really dislike him.  But mostly I feel sorry for him.  I know he is a character in a show but sometimes I think about the writers.  What are they thinking when they write these shows.  When they portray God and religion in general in such a negative light.  There are so many episodes where a great discussion about God, sin, evil, good and the meaning behind it all is just waiting to be had.

What is and isn't God's "fault" I find it all kind of fascinating really.

One episode was about a Vietnam Vet from Canada - who had his hand cut off while trying to save a boy.  The episode is called "Tyrant" because this Vietnam Vet is very angry and mean.  He makes House back down which is not usual.  During an angry conversation with House he explains that he is still holding that boys hand 35 years later and is in a lot of pain all the time because he can't let go of that boys hand.

House in his usual way goes into the man's house, drugs him and forces him to put his stub into a box, which he has rigged with a mirror, so when he puts in his good hand he can see a mirror image.  Making it look like he has two good arms.  House tells him to squeeze both hands like he is holding on to something really hard and "If you believe in God pray that this works and while your at it you might ask him why he let you loose your hand to begin with."

So he squeezes both hands really hard and then House says, "Now, let go!"  He lets go and starts to cry because for the first time in 35 years he has no pain.

No pain - for 35 years he had pain and now it is gone.  Can you imagine the sweet release of living with something for 35 years and having that pain removed by Letting Go!  Really Letting Go!

In what ways do we not let go?  How do we hold on to pain in our lives and relive them.  We relive our mistakes, we hold on to grudges, we choose to be angry about things we can't control.

House tells him - ..."Ask God why he let you loose your hand." - Sometimes those kind of things are hard - why does God allow these bad things to happen?  Why did one of my team members get leukemia?  Why did just this weekend another team member got married and then the bus that was taking some family members and friends from her village home had an accident and the only fatality was her sister.  ON HER WEDDING DAY!  WHY?

Is God big enough for these questions?  Is God strong enough?  Are we wise enough to know that DEATH,  SICKNESS and PAIN never make sense because it wasn't part of God's plan.  That God did not create a world of pain, sickness and death but that we created that.  That instead of pointing at God and blaming him we have to bow our heads and pray that God gives us the strength to praise him through it.

That Christ's death on the cross - there He took that PAIN, SICKNESS and DEATH and that we don't have to suffer forever anymore.  That this debt is paid and we can choose it freely.   We can LET GO and let God be in control.

When someone dies we hurt and are in pain because this is not the way we were created to be.  We were created to be in fellowship with our God, to walk with Him, to talk with Him and to cling to Him to live with Him praising Him forever.

I had a dream not to long ago and it won't leave.  I've shared it with a few people and I will share it here. I am in a car in Moldova (I think) and the road is very rough.  I am not driving the car - I don't know who is but the car feels somewhat out of control.  We leap off an embankment and fly through the air.  (I know this can't end well.)  But in the midst of it I start praising God.  I am thanking Him for how good He is and that even though I know that I will probably die I want to die praising Him.

Then we seem to skip like a rock skipping on a pond of water hitting the ground and bouncing back up into the air again.  Then we land smack dab in a bunch of mud.  (There is a lot of mud in Moldova.)  I open the car door and suddenly there are people all around me talking in a language I can't understand but I can't contain myself I have to share the gospel so I just start asking.  "Do you know Jesus?"

I've thought about this dream - I wasn't driving because I am not in control of my life, but I am in control of how I respond to the situations that happen around me.  I can choose to praise HIM, or I can choose to blame Him.  Thankfully in my dream I chose rightly.  My aim is to do that when I am awake too.

Lets Let Go and Let God!