Martha and Jesus concerning the dead things in life….

We just got back Friday from the Team Retreat - we go on every year.  The last three years it took place in the Mountains of Romania.  Moldova has no mountains and since we share a language it is nice to go to the mountains.  

This year our speaker talked about "blindness" how we can be blind to the things that God wants us to get rid of.  Our idols etc.  He used Mark Chapter 10: 13-52.  I think I will have more posts from this talk but, part of this talk took me back to something I was thinking about in February, a place God took me to, one day in our discussion groups me talked about this questions:

What has failure taught you?  Tell us about times when things have not gone as you had hoped and what you learned as a result.  

This took me back to support raising on our furlough a year ago - we spent 6 months back in the states building up our support.  I went into the furlough with this grand plan,  thought, hope, prayer; that we would have all our support by November of 2012.   

By Thanksgiving to be specific; that lovely American Holiday where we express our thankfulness.

That date, by the way, came and went, but out of that I wrote the following on February 17, 2013.  I knew I had written about this and have been meaning to post it to this blog for some time, but I've been BUSY.  (insert chuckle you see why I'm chuckling when you read the post below.)   

I do want to add that we are currently 100% supported on our lower budget.  We don't have a car yet, but that will come in God's time as I have learned and relearn it is His Will, Way and Time. I'm just along to enjoy the journey.
  
Our time between going to South Africa and getting to Moldova the first time was a walk of obedience.  Everything we learned during that time pointed to being obedient.  Up until now it has been about contentment.  I'm not sure what the next lesson is yet, or if I'm still working on the contentment one, but anyway - I'm blathering here is the post:

Martha and Jesus Concerning the Dead Things in Life....February 17, 2013:

Contentment and trusting in the sovereignty of God is something 
I've decided I need to finally learn or God will continue to try to 
teach me about Contentment. 

I get it!  Be content!  

Raising support always puts me in a place that requires me 
to fully trust in God's provision. 

Paul wrote about it:

God's Provision  Phil. 4: 10 - 20

10 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length 
you have revived your concern for me. You were 
indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 
11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have 
learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 
12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how 

to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have 
learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, 
abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through 
him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to 
share my trouble. 15 And you Philippians yourselves 
know that in the beginning of the gospel,when I left 
Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with 

me in giving and receiving, except you only. 16 Even in 

Thessalonica you sent me help for my needs once 
and again. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit 
that increases to your credit. 18 I have received full 
payment, and more. I am well supplied, having 
received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, 

a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and 
pleasing to God. 19 And my God will supply every 
need of yours according to his riches in glory in 
Christ Jesus. 20 To our God and Father be 

glory forever and ever. Amen.

Here is such a picture of a missionary trusting on the giving of others to do 
his ministry as he also depends on God to supply his every need.  It is often 
scripture like this that gives me confidence that raising support is Biblical.  

I really hate support raising, but writing about it, asking and giving 
people the opportunity to support us is good and right.  It makes us 
all part of the great commission and going into the world.  Because 
through giving to us, people who stay "here" are making it possible for 

us to be their hands and feet on the ground in Moldova.  But all that said - 
I also need to be content in any and every circumstance.  Not being 
worried or fretting about this or that because God will take care of my 
needs.  Not my wants - my needs.  Like Paul says it - not that I seek the 
"gift," but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit.  Giving to him was 

part of their fruit that blessed them in the giving of it.  God blesses us when 
we are faithful to give - not in a (as my pastor would put it) "sugar daddy" 
way, but in ways that might be unexpected.

What does Martha and Death have to do with all this?

In my low down times during these past six months of support raising I 
get into these panic modes.  Because…well, in short, God isn't doing 
it my way!  Yeah, I know how could He?  I think this is because he is 
trying to get me and us to understand contentment. 

Contentment is:

 'acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity.' The level of 
capacity reached may be sought after, expected, desired, or simply 
predetermined as the level in which provides contentment.  

From <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contentment>

During one of these low times - I had been starving myself of the word.  
I will admit I did this intentionally because I was getting into this mindset 
that if I didn't read x-number of pages of the Bible each day, I was 
somehow not a "good" Christian.  

I don't advise anyone to try this unless they reach this place.  I did a test of 
sorts on myself.  How dry could I get without the word, how would I focus on 
God without the word.  How would God speak to me if I wasn't in the word.  
Yeah, I know kind of dumb - but at the same time it really showed me something.  
Because as you know there are people out there that have one page of the Bible, 
or have none of the Bible and have only memorized parts of it and they live most 
of their lives without the word of God as part of their daily routine.  So I knew in 
theory it had to be possible.  

Though I will say - we are very distracted in this modern world.  There are so 
many ways to forget to seek out God and God's word because we are so 
busy by other "STUFF"  and not really important stuff.  I don't know how many 
times I might hear that someone is BUSY but then their (or I am) on Facebook 
half the night.  SO at least I know that I'm not the only one with this idea of being 
BUSY when really I am just occupying my time by being BUSY but if 

I would take away that "STUFF" I wouldn't really be BUSY at all. 

So here I was starving - myself of the word - but I had all these talks with God.  
Or I should say, to God about what my timeline is or was.  How I saw things 
playing out.  If things were not going my way - I would think of all the other possible 
ways it could go.  In effect making my mind busy.  I did pray a lot.  I also prayed - 
"good" prayers and sought God to direct me, but so much of time, the greatest 
hindrance we can have to living mission minded is being ourselves and putting 
ourselves first.  

One day - in prayer God said - "My Word, Sharon."  Okay he didn't say it quite like 
that but it was close.  In my heart I knew that what I needed was to stop starving.  
So since I was laying in my bed I looked for a Bible and found one.  I turned to the 
date that day - since it was a daily devotional and read about Jesus hearing that 
Lazarus was sick and him waiting.  He didn't rush to do what Mary and Martha 
wanted him to do.  He didn't do it their way.  He did it His way.  He finished up 
what he was doing and then when he knew Lazarus was good and dead he 
headed their way.

He was 4 days dead by the time he gets there.  
4 days in the ground.  
He was truly dead.

Martha runs out to him and says:  "Lord if you had been here, my brother would 
not have died.  But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will 
give you."

Jesus proceeds to tell her that Lazarus will rise.

Martha says - Yeah, sure on the last day he will rise.

Here I imagine Jesus looking into Martha's eyes as he says, "I am the resurrection 
and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone 
who lives and believes in me shall never die.  

Do you believe this?

I love this question - do you believe this?  In other words - Where is your faith Martha 
dear?  Martha says -" Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God who 
is coming into the world."

Here is the text:

I Am the Resurrection and the Life John 11: 17-27

17 Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already 
been in the tomb four days. 18 Bethany was near Jerusalem, 
about two miles off, 19 and many of the Jews had come to 
Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. 
20 So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went 
and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. 
21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my 
brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that 

whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” 23 Jesus 
said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 Martha said to 
him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the 
last day.” 25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and 
the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he 
live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never 
die. Do you believe this?” 27 She said to him, “Yes, Lord; 
I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is 
coming into the world.”

So I read this and I lay back down and ask, 
"Okay, but what does this have to do with our support?  

Where is it God, it doesn't seem to be coming on my time table."

God quietly asks, looking into my eyes - 
(okay I'm still laying in my bed but work with me here.)  

Do you believe this? 

Am I the resurrection and the Life?

Do you believe that whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live?

That because you believe in me you will never die?

Do you believe in me?

Are you content to live in me and let me take care of the details?

Are you willing to follow me?
Not follow the world? 
Or trust in the world? 
Or the way the world sees your life? 
Or the things around you? 
Are you willing to be content to let me be in control?

YES, gosh it is hard, but yes.  

I will learn to be content.  

I will learn to let you lead, 

I will learn to follow you and to feed the sheep you give me.  

To be the aroma that is pleasing to you, not to the world.  

I will be who you have created me to be. 

Yes, Lord I believe that you are the Christ, 
The Son of God who is coming into the world!"

The dead things in life are not my concern - 
I am concerned about life and the living.  

Time Keeps On Moving....

A lot has happened since I last updated this blog.
We had a busy summer in 2012 with outreaches and packing up our house.
In Aug. 2012 after our team retreat we headed to the states for 6 months of furlough.
Now we are back in Moldova and it is already 2013!

Time has that way of just moving right along and before you know it it is gone.

FROGGER

Remember the game frogger?  

I do - I am reminded of it every time we leave our house to walk the half mile to the bus stop.  On the way to the bus stop we have to cross five lanes of traffic.  With three small children in tow it is an exercise in care and sharp eyes.  Though there are cross walk signs - pretty much no one stops, and in the off chance someone does stop - you still can't just mosey across the street because some moron will try to zip by in the next lane.  More then one life lost here by an unobservant pedestrian. Cars always have the right of way.

They are bigger and well - they hurt!

Meatloaf

Life in another country is interesting to say the least and the longer I am here the more things that once were odd seem normal, but sometimes it is the simple conversations that really throw you off.  You realize that in deed I am "no longer in Kansas."  Not that I have ever lived in Kansas mind you.

Living in another country and then working with people from all over Europe is also very enlightening.  Especially when you get asked an odd question - well at least I thought it was odd.


"What is meatloaf?"

Ahh, "meatloaf?"  How in the world do you explain what meatloaf is - in short I said - it is liked a great big baked hamburger.  But well it is more than that.  I went into the history of meatloaf - ...made to stretch the meat.  

Then went on to explain how now there is a kind of art to meatloaf is very different.  People have taken a simple recipe and jazzed it up.

So something as well - normal as meatloaf becomes a topic of conversation.  Now when well I ever say that again.

I have a few people that I will schedule to have over for dinner the next time I make meatloaf though and then the real education will come with the first bite!

It's Just Cold Here!

Okay, so I said I would start to say more about Moldova this year so I might as well get started!

Europe is in the news about the cold weather and I just have to say - IT IS COLD!  In the states cold is relative - you have heated houses, you have heated cars and you might experience a bit of cold as you run from one to the other but you don't stand out in it, or live in it.  This is why so many people across Europe have died, especially in places like Russia, Ukraine and Moldova.  Houses are not well insulated - case in point my house is staying around 53 degrees give or take a degree - though it did get up to 60 today.  For you European folk - that is about 11 to 14 degrees!   Burr!  This is with spending just under $400 a month to heat this house.  I've said it once - I'll say it again - "I'm not living in this house next winter."  Small fear is that the next house will be worse!  Things I've learned:

1.  Moldovans and most Europeans don't know what a block heater is!
2.  Warm feet equal a warm body - second to that are warm hands.  The extremities are very important!
3.  When two of your buses pass by you too full of people to take any more passengers and you have waited in frigid temperatures for 30 minutes - it is okay to take a taxi!
4.  last but certainly not least - Thank God for the times when you have warm feet and hands and for the four walls that might not keep you toasty warm - but do keep you from freezing to death.  300 + people learned that one first hand.

Pray for all those that suffer through another week of freezing cold temperatures!

Rejoice, In the Lord

Again, I Say Rejoice!

Lessons from the book of Philippians:

Ever gone through a hard time and wondered why was this happening?

What was your reaction during the hard time, did you fret and worry, did you loose faith, did you cry?

Did you cry out and curse God?

I've had moments where I have done all of that.  I am not perfect and I often do not react the way I would like to say I react.

We had a moment not so long ago - where our support levels fell to dangerously low levels.  We were encouraged to do all we could to raise those levels by a certain date about three weeks in the future.  It was decided if our levels didn't move up in that time we would have to return home to support raise.

The thing about support is it never stops being needed, we were not doing a great job reminding people of their commitment to us and to the work here in Moldova.  We realized that we were mostly to blame in why our support wasn't coming it - because while people had said they would partner with us we had gotten busy in the daily living here that we forgot to connect with people back home.  We slipped off the radar I think.

Right away my dear husband started making the two mile walk to work in the dark after the kids went to bed to make the calls back to America.  I stayed home.  Our internet at home wasn't working very well most of the time and at that time it was working awful.

So as he trudged that first night, I prayed.  I read my journal - because when your support levels fall that low and you are facing returning home a year earlier than planned you start to wonder,

"Am I suppose to be here at all?"

You feel a bit discouraged, you feel like just when things are coming together and you feel like you are starting to belong that something new comes a long to knock you about again.

My doubts, my worries, rear up and I had to decide how was I going to face this?

In fear worrying each night that we would be returning home before planned or what?

I turned to the word, I'm not sure how I decided on what book to read but I settled in Philipians, and I am so glad I did.

If you haven't read Phillipians recently - go get it and read it.

It is that good.

The whole book spoke to my situation, spoke to my trust of God, of my willingness to let him do the work and the worry and to really trust him.  It didn't mean that the support would all come in, what it meant was even if it didn't that I could rest in the fact that God is in control.

Makes me think of my favorite Psalms - 46

When my brother died in 1996 God gave me this Psalms as a rope to cling to.  When bad things happen  or I start to stress out about something I turn to this Psalms to remind myself that it isn't about me, or the situation I happen to be in but it is about the big picture.  I am to rest, truly rest in God and allow Him to work things out.

While this doesn't mean we can sit back and do nothing it does mean that we can move forward in prayer and with a hopeful expectation of God's provision and or that in the end it will all make sense.

Our support levels while a bit low are no longer dangerously low, our supporters came through for us.  It just reminds me again that we are not here on our own strength that we are only as strong as our supporters - because without them we would not and can not be here!  

Thanks for your support, both financial and prayers!  We are so thankful for you!



Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
(Philippians 4:4-9 ESV)

Two very different books: Two radically different messages

This year I have read many books - but none that I have pondered over more than the two books below.

I'm not even sure how to write the thoughts I think about these books.

I have since reading Book 1 of the yada yada prayer group read through book 6 and book 7 the last in the series I should read before the end of the year.  (shh it is a Christmas present.)  But when I read the first book I wasn't sure I liked it.  Maybe because the lead character is too much like me, she seems to have many of the same thoughts I have.  But what I love about the series is that these are "American" women.  The diversity of the group speaks to the "melting pot" of American culture and how messy a melting pot gets!  This group of women are faced with the challenge of how does a prayer group move into putting their prayers into action.  Putting the words into deeds and doing that while working, raising families and growing spiritually.  These are women with questionable pasts, tragic futures and whom form a bond of friendship with each other that changes their lives forever.  I can't promise you will love the series but you will grow to feel like these women are real women - because they are in a way all of us.

The Yada Yada Prayer Group (The Yada Yada Prayer Group, Book 1)

My reaction to reading this book while reading Yada Yada - well lets just say they are completely different.  First of all the above book is fictional but reads like "real" life.  The Heavenly Man, will really I wish this book was fictional, only in the awful things that happen to this real live person.   I'm glad this book is true because of how Brother Yun inspires, shocks and humbles me!  I can't say that I've read a missionary Biography where the person suffered more and did not die.  God is glorified and I am amazed at the underground church in China.  WOW!
The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun

As I was reading these books I really felt that I was to learn something from each of them.  Not sure exactly what yet - God doesn't call all of us to suffer the way Brother Yun suffered but he does ask us to be ready to.

Am I ready?  Hmm maybe more in the way the ladies suffered in Yada Yada - (there is some suffering in this series) - but my prayer is that I would be capable of withstanding the suffering that Brother Yun bore.

Musings on Spiritual Growth

This summer we took in a puppy that was abandon by its owners.  It was left in a box to die.  A friend of ours found it on the side of the road half dead.

For the first few weeks we fed it from a bottle with goat milk and yogurt.  As I was feeding this puppy from a bottle and as the puppy grew, I wondered on my own spiritual growth.    Moving from the milk to the spiritual meat in God's word.

After a few days I had to start giving our puppy real food - meat - dry dog food soften with the milk and  as she started to gobble this up I ended up taking away the bottle milk.  At first she didn't want to change from the bottle, I had to spoon feed her the real food to show her how it would satisfy her so much more than the milk.  She grew and began to eat her food quicky and soon she didn't need the milk at all.  

What is the difference between spiritual milk and spiritual meat?  Why do we need the meat, why do we need to grow up?  What happens if all we consume of God's word is milk? What does this say about us spiritually if we don't move beyond milk?

 If we stay on an all milk diet we may grow but we won't have any muscle.  God's word is like that - the more we consume of it the more it changes and strengthens us. 

What does spiritual growth look like?  What does the Bible say about growth?  What does this mean for me?

I don't have all the answers - these are things I am still learning and growing in myself.  I have not had all the meat there is from the word. 

For our puppy - it meant that once she was laying at deaths door - but the milk revived her and caused her to grow stronger.  The meat then caused her to develop and mature.  She ended up growing far larger than we ever realized she would.

We don't have the puppy anymore - she has been moved to grow further in a country village.  But while she was with us she taught us that true growth comes from the meat in life not the milk.  That true growth isn't easy and sometimes requires hard decisions like giving away a beloved puppy so that human relationships can thrive and improve.  

What about you?  Are you satisfied with the milk or do you want more meat?

The day we said Goodbye.  We do miss her!

Welcoming Fall!

I planned this post a month ago - I should change it to anticipating winter.  Fall here in Moldova is very nice.  The grapes came into season and for the first time I realized where the fake candy grape flavor comes from.  The deep purple grapes actual taste just like that.  The seeds aside, the taste was fabulous!  I can't even explain it but just go out and eat a grape Lifesaver and imagine it being the flavor of a real grape!

The leaves are changing and falling covering the walkways and creating a nature carpet.  Moldovan Churches have all held their Fall Festivals thanking God for the provision that as been laid up for winter.

The Ukrainian Grandmother next door is canning the harvest from her huge garden.  One day her grape vines were heavy with fruit the next day they were picked clean.  She is stealthy like that working in the in between while I am busy with other things. 

We started homeschooling for the year on Sept. 6 and are currently enjoying the middle ages.

God has been teaching me in his word with Philippians that in all things He has a plan to work out for my good.  In that as life still presents its problems I am working out rejoicing always.

Soon we will have lived in Moldova a year.  I've hesitated to write much about my impressions this first year as we adjusted and learned the language.  Growing in our understanding of the country and culture.  I think I am ready to share more about life and ministry here in Moldova in future posts.

The Lord is My Shepherd - His Spirit is water to my Soul!

I wish I was perfect - wouldn't that be awesome to be perfect.  

To never say or do the wrong thing.  

To just wake up every morning and know that your every response to someone would be just the right one.  

The perfect words to every situation would fly out of your mouth without thought.   

Every action, deed and thought would be beyond question and reproach. 

I am not perfect!  

I'm struggling now. 

- Struggling with everything it feels like a big weight of nothingness has settled over me and well spiritually I know that this isn't from God.  I'm so not right within myself that I wonder what am I doing?  

What does God's word say about this?  

I've not been in the word lately!  I've been avoiding it actually - what does that say about me?  I have been praying but most of my prayers are about God helping me through a situation.  Or helping me figure out what to say and how to say it.  What to do.  Asking God to forgive me for my not so nice thoughts and feelings as of late.  

I think that most of this just means I'm normal.  

A Christian, not in the word, under stress and full of emotional responses as my first line of defense.  Seriously, I've cried all I can today.  

While I haven't been in the word lately,  I had been studying the 23rd Psalm.  

Studying it along with  a book written by W. Phillip Keller.  

I'm such a sheep!

The Shepherd Trilogy: A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm / A Shepherd Looks at the Good Shepherd / A Shepherd Looks at the Lamb of God

I'm glad that I was studying this before this time in the valley because I can see how much of a sheep I am!  During this time without water, when my enemies seem to be other sheep kicking me.  Why do we sheep do that to each other?  Why do I do that to other sheep?  

I am a sheep in need of rest,  I am a sheep in need of a good Shepherd.  

In need of a Shepherd that during this dry time is waiting for me to meet Him up in the meadow.  Better yet is waiting for me to allow Him to safely lead me to this quiet place of rest. 

The song Better is One Day -  is going through my mind.  The part that talks about 

Your Spirit is Water to My Soul!

There it is the water that I need that everyone needs.  Good thing I don't need to be perfect or I'd be doomed - well damned really. 

Let this be Water to your Soul too!

This is true for me - is it true for you?  Is one Day with God better than 1,000 somewhere else?

Water to your soul?

Oh things are not suddenly perfect now.

I'm still not perfect, 

right now I still feel down and my spirit is still heavy the valley is still a bit dark. 

But there is that meadow over there and I'm going to head to it because 

He is a good Shepherd.  

And well He is perfect. 

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my dshepherd; I shall not ewant.

2 He makes me lie down in green fpastures.

He leads me beside still waters.1

3 He grestores my soul.

He hleads me in ipaths of righteousness2

for his jname's sake.

4 Even though I kwalk through the valley of lthe shadow of death,3

I will mfear no evil,

for nyou are with me;

your orod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5 You pprepare a table before me

in qthe presence of my enemies;

you ranoint my head with oil;

my scup overflows.

6 Surely4 goodness and mercy5 shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall tdwell6 in the house of the Lord

u forever.  (ESV)